Category Archives: Parodies

FASSie

Something in anticipation of the forthcoming reunion. The usual apologies for the vocals and technical incompetence.

Here are the lyrics:
It might seem stupid what I’m about to say
Showtime is here, so don’t run away
We’re a big lead balloon that just won’t take flight
In the air, but I don’t care, having fun tonight

‘Cause I’m a FASSie
Clap along if you feel like putting on a show
I ain’t too classy
Clap along if you feel like this is what you came here fo’
I’m feelin’ sassy
Clap along if you feel like FASS is the thing for you
And actin’ brassy
Clap along if you feel like this is what you want to do

Here come the dancers hope to blow your mind (yeah)
And the singers too, so please be kind (yeah)
Got a lot of actors say what they’re assigned (yeah)
And the techies use what they can find
Here’s why

‘Cause I’m a FASSie
Clap along if you feel like havin’ a ball tonight
No highland lassie
Clap along if you feel like everything is goin’ right
This ain’t DeGrassi
Clap along if you feel like the show is gonna be sublime
A bit half-assy
Clap along if you feel like you’re gonna have a lovely time

Have some fun, we’re gonna
Have some fun, we’re feelin’ so high
Have some fun, we’re gonna
Have some fun, we said (tell you now)
Have some fun, we’re gonna
Have some fun, the show is why
Have some fun, we’re gonna
Have some fun, we said

‘Cause I’m a FASSie
Clap along if you feel like the acting is first rate
Like Raymond Massey
Clap along if you feel like the singers all pull their weight
Like Shirley Bassey
Clap along if you feel like the Rastas think we’re great
Like Haile Selassie
Clap along if you feel like the cube of two is eight.

Have some fun, you’re gonna
Have some fun, we’ll get you so high
Have some fun, you’re gonna
Have some fun, we said

‘Cause I’m a FASSie
Clap along if you feel like there’s nowhere else you want to go
A rusty chassis
Clap along if you feel like a bit of Edgar Allen Poe
My knees get grassy
Clap along if you feel like the terror has begun to grow
In Talahassie
Clap along if you feel like the time has come to start the show

 

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Floccinaucinihilipilification

At last. It was written some time ago but I wanted to provide a recording of it as well — for which I must apologize. I didn’t want to do the music from scratch and I couldn’t find versions that were more, um, in my range, hence the strangled cat sounds.  Herewith the lyrics:

Flocci
Nauci
Ni Hi Li Pi Lification
All those
Letters
Rolled into one

Like an
Endless
Train pulling out of a station
Never
Knowing
If it’s quite done

One magical word storm
Now here is its verb form, to

Flocci
Nau — I
Hope that you’re paying attention
For it’s almost too late —
Cini Hili Pili Fi Cate

=====

When you see something that does not enthrall
A thing that’s got no worth at all
You think its value is very small
Then what you’re doing is what we call

F Locci Nauci
Nihi Li Pili
Fication
F Locci Nauci
Nihi Li Pili
Fication

You’d think you could say it with a lot less breath
But other ways bore me to death
I think that there’s no better way
So quit your grumbling and let me say

F Locci Nauci
Nihi Li Pili
Fication
F Locci Nauci
Nihi Li Pili
Fication
For when you just don’t care

=====

If you think
Words are scary
This’ll frighten you
If you like
Dictionaries
You’ll like this too
Once you have heard

If you’re a massive fan of
Lengthy words
Well here’s the longest one
Floc Ci Nau
Ci Ni Hi Li Pili
Fi Cation

What’s it mean?
What’s it matter?
Do you really care?
If you think it’s
Wasting time
You’re probably un-
aware that that

Is just its definition
What it means
Is just what you have thought
Floc Ci Nau
Ci Ni Hi Li Pili
Fi Cation

=====

Big words, they make you goggle
Rare words, they hit the spot
You moan when you play Boggle
And Scrabble makes you hot

You’ve simply no reaction
To garter belts and lipstick
But there’s a mad attraction
To crosswords that are cryptic

The kind of arcane nonsense
That all language buffs adore
And when you put the tiles down
It’s the best you’ve ever scored
But it won’t fit on the board

Flocci Nauci Ni
Hilipi Li Fi Cation
That’s the core of your
Silly preoccupation
Just trying to prevent
Mental coagulation
Flocci Nauci Ni
Hilipi Li Fi Cation
This verbal perambulation
Hilipi Li Fi Cation

In English there’s no finer
Big word in which to delve
Of letters, 29, sir
Of syllables, it’s 12
If words were like gorillas
You’d be looking at King Kong
And if you think it’s nothing special
Just a little long
Try to put it in a song!

Flocci Nauci Ni
Hilipi Li Fi Cation
Lyrics with it need
Word prestidigitation
Just the sight of it
Causes procrastination
When you’re done you will
Beg for a long vacation
That or defenstration
Hilipi Li Fi Cation

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